O'Charleys Birmingham, Alabama: D

There is little in life more fun than a late night summer run into an on the road diner/restaurant that serves up ribs and super greasy fries. Turns out, O'Charley's of Birmingham, AL, delivers and left all three of us feeling "Oh.... Charlie"! Anyhow, the bathrooms in O'Charleys were busy and completely interesting. They provided quite a musical of Southern drawl and conversations that ran as specific as, "I think I would like to order a soda pop- a coke." The bathrooms also offered choices for drying the hands, you could use paper towels or you could use air dryers, you decide- trees or coal. Anyhow, the bathroom was packed and there was not enough standing room. Everyone kept getting hit in the butt with the door. Natalia thought this was hilarious. We were there for her and had to use the baby changer which always grosses me out. We laid out our materials, laid down a nice clean liner from home and changed diapers in the handicapped stall. O'Charleys did not deliver on is bathroom... it has to earn a D. You see, the changers was alright but there was no where to throw out a diaper. Did they expect us to put it back in our diaper bags or what? I was cracking up thinking, what are my choiceds here, put it behind the flusher, in our diaper bag, or give it to the waitstaff. Just so you know, I carried it outside to the dumpster keeping the worker of OCharleys in my mind. It was a tight squeeze, kinda messy, and without trashcans. I give O'Charley's of Birmingham a D,no failure, because the Southern accents were too fabulous!

We love Seaside: A

Nesteled here in the terrific-ness of Seaside there are many a bathroom to choose from for various needs and desires. Choices are good. You've got the public ones just outside the rooftop deck bar, equipped with frigid A/C- its nice. Then you've got the cabana baths under each stairway to the ocean equipped without A/C but with rinse off shower- its nice. But then, there is the famous bath, near and dear to the traumatics of Noah and my hearts. It was one year while in Seaside, shopping for our beach reads, when suddenly the room began to spin and the books began to float. I felt terrible and broke out in the cold sweats. Immediately announced that I needed fresh air, I wobbled out the store and made my way to the cool ocean breeze. I didn't make it there. I got as far as the between spot of Modica Market and the furniture store and, OUT like a light, down for the count. Just plain old passed out and fell to the ground. Next thing I knew, Noah is slapping my face panicked and the paramedics are checking my blood sugars. Next think I know about myself is that I immediately need a bathroom unsure of which end will give relief- sorry. Turns out- both! The nearest bathroom was the public one behind our house, Close to Eden. At the time they were pretty great. Stainless steel shiny ones with cool circle sinks. This year, however, they got a makeover and rock it like O'Hare airport bathrooms. They kept the sinks and added just 2 stalls that have floor to ceiling mint green opaque glass. This trippy sliding locks and eco friendly flushing options. The tiles are my Seaside classic white and the place is spotless. I give it a total and complete A!

5124

Cottage rental affords its guests the option of going back to your house or going to use the privatize bathrooms at the end of your favorite cabana. Thos year, just type in 5124and you are golden for use. A few days ago while the sun was out and we were at the ocean- sigh, it was time to check out this year's 5124. All was great. Clean, TP, and hilarious scratching of text to tell users that they can just type in 5134 to their Lyell and call if the bath is not acceptable. However, th entity teen marked it as this..."All need or vices, call 5124". Witty. Anyhow, I give this bath an A as anything Seaside in y book, except for rain, deserves my total YEA! So to recap, fun code, nice text, and clean. Use these wisely as it is easy to intruded upon. Block the code machine by Putting your sandy sandals out. Front of the door.

Orchard Market: B

Orchard Farm's Market is in the middle of almost nowhere. Always exciting to stumble upon a Farmer's Market and a bathroom about an hour before arrival at a campground. This is remarkable due to the fact that campground bathrooms are always surprising and have taught me to never assume a thing about them. That is a true leap of faith and one I take on regularly. But digression is occurring here. Anyhow.. this particular bathroom was quite a lot of fun. It reminded me of my Grandmother's era. After shopping for some pretty great jam and produce I decided to go check it out. It had one of those plywood doors with the golden doorknob where the lock twist button was broken, so you have to use the hook hammered in at the top. It was a long a narrow kinda room, one person kinda place. Nice sink, fake flowers, and the best part, a wire rack or towels to use. Go figure. The linoleum floor was great and TP ample. The best part was that it had one of those spray misters that shoot out Febreeze when you walk out the door. Spritz, and you smell like a cool summer breeze. Awesome. Being a one room facility that opened up to a grocery store, I had to give this old fashioned restroom a B. A Crohner's always hates a one room bath and hates one even more that opens out to the public. However, its charm and ambiance make Orchard Market's bathroom a solid B! (B-for-Bup)

5/3 Bank Ballpark: No Grade

15,000 folks, a minor league ball park, and Wilco fans make a fine combination of a fun filled night. Add the Albandia's and it turns most excellent. Going way back in weeks, we have some recapping to do for Critique a la Salle. Let's start the night of the Wilco concert. Upon walking into the arena, seeing that there were many a fan using the cattails and the weeks of retention ponds made me think two things- either Wilco fans and fancy and free or the bathrooms are going to make a low grade. Well, turns out Wilco fans are fancy and free and very good at air guitar while dancing. It also turns out the the 5/3 Bank bathrooms are pretty okay. Many stalls on a two section layout makes for a no wait kinda situation. Great. Clean enough for the last few users of the evening. However, the sinks were broken and covered with ugly plastic bags to keep folks from using one of the sections of sinks. However, I cannot rate this experience because I got way too distracted. The back of the door had advertising on it which read, "Come Celebrate the Best Time of Year" It had a picture of Santa and his elves and was inviting people to come back and celebrate Christmas time during July at the ball park. I thought to myself, what time is the "best time of year"- July or Christmastime. As a teacher, I gotta go with July. However in the bottom corner was really huge smart phone graphic. I thought, who sits here and smart phones? Gross. Anyhow.. no grade because I was too distracted trying to figure out which time is the best time and wished I only had a smart phone to make the experience more interactive. 5/3 Bank Cougers Ballpark: No grade.

Oak Street Beach: IP

As some of you may not be aware, an IP in the world of our standards based education means, "In Progress". Its a loose term. Anyhow, we've been hitting water since its hotter than down under around here and yesterday took us to the Oak Street Beach. Stroller, umbrella, sunscreen, and lunch met up with a cool dip in the lake several times. On the way out, we took the ramp that has the great mural at the end of the walkway. There are the bathrooms for the beach. I have found these bathrooms to be always pleasantly surprising every summer. Beach and pool bathrooms are tough. Questionably wet, sticky bathing suits, and too thin TP- you get the idea. Anyhow, Oak Street beach always surprises because the TP is thick and the stalls actually clean where they really need to be clean. So this year, it was my first stop there for the summer. However, it was being hosed down when we arrived and it was In Progress of being cleaned. So, tomorrow, when we go expect and update! Based on history and love of the beach I give it a IP until tomorrow.

OP Movie at the Lake: B

Movie Date led us to enjoy a popcorn for Noah and a mini "sody-pop" for me. At then end of the wonderful viewing, a pit stop to the basement of Lake Theatre seemed appropriate, blog worthy, and necessary. First off, the bump to the B range starts immediately when you have to go down the dark stairs and end up in the circular pschychedlic lobby with the two gender bathroom off to the side along the circumference of a 1970's rug. I told Noah, "I'll meet you at the dot in the middle." If you an say that before entering a bathroom- it goes up to a B automatically. Anyhow, all good here. Bright ligshts to reapply date makeup. TP, many stalls, and clean. Updated with one measly supersonic dryer like at the train station- you know the one, the loud Dyson one that almost sucks your hands to Jupiter to get them dry. The Oak Park Lake Street Cinema bathroom- I give it a B.

Tony's Finer Foods: D-

All I gotta say is... maroon red tiles, one toliet, with a lot of empty unused space at the back of a grocery store by the employee break room. I give it a D-, totally bummer. Its not called a Supermarket because its got super bathrooms- avoid, avoid.

Forest Park McDonalds: A

Road tripping has taught me many of bathroom thing. Dunkin' Donuts, Burger King, and any type of Chicken Shack- bad, bad news for bathrooms. Always yuck. Either because the decor is brown, old, or its just plain unideal. Grouting is always an issue at these establishments, also. Go figure. From here in the Chi-town area, all the way to the stalls on the beautiful coast of California- these fast food places earn a D to F grade. Always. McDonald's however, is always a surprise. Often times they would Meet or Exceed expectation and earn an A or B- even in Nebraska and Kansas. But sometimes you bump into one that makes you worry. The Forest Park McD's makes me worry. Not because of its bathrooms, but because its a mental panic button for me and my Crohn's. Throughout every morning of the ongoing past school year, my health status got more and more uncomfortable and more and more set off by any nerves, deadlines, rushing, or impending meeting that I thought I might be late for. Plus, a busy morning, getting ready to drop off Natalia always made for a unpredictable gut. So, it always seemed that I would be fine, but then over the hill and under the el tracks we would drive and suddenly Crohner's would rumble and hit. Always at 7:25 am! Annoying. I don't know how many times we had to mad dash through the intersections at mock speed, blowing red lights, to get me runnning to the bathroom here. One time, I even just opened the dorr and ran through the intersection without looking or stopping, much to Noah's anger and fear. So you get the point. I see the Forest Park McD's and I panic- even still on summer vacation. Last week, it did not fail. Dropping Natalia off on Wed, as we do, those golden arches set me on Critique a la Salle, two times! Each time, they delivered and I thank them. Two clean stall. Big fancy sink. Always someone just having cleaned it at that hour- great. Fully loaded TP. And a very inviting WOMENS door with frosted glass. All around- it has never failed to be great and deliver when panicked. Thanks. I give it an A.

Old Town School of Folk Music: B

Today was Natalia's first day, and ours, I suppose of Wiggleworms at Old Town. Super excited to pack up the lunch, head to the square, wiggle some worms, and then walk the old stompin' grounds. Also super excited because Old Town School of Folk Music has always been one of my favorite Chicago bathrooms of all times. Particularly the spacious, handicapped stall at the far back east side. Old Town always delivered when there was a Crohner's punch- even when not open for classes. Always clean, great soap, and never low on TP. Really, one of my favorite Crohn's destinations- I tell ya. So this morning, glad to be back. Wiggleworms and bathroom of favorite- here we come. Got there after a gorgeous drive up the Lake Shore with its almost paint like blue shimmer and found our class to be redirected to the NEW building across the way! "Awesome- new bathroom and undoudtedly they were in for an A+, I figured." Close, super close. I still rank the old ones and A+, but the 2010 lime green mini-mosaic tiles kept distracting my A+ to a B. I gotta knock it down a notch, in three years that already so- so lime green tile will be totally annoying! But here are the stats: Totally perfect cleanliness. Many stalls, in case of emergency and classes in transition. Loads of TP. Great lighting makes you look nice while you wash your hands. Lime green mini mosaic tiles. I give it a B.

Genessee Theater: C

So last night we went too see a legend- 79 years old! Can you believe that? 10 years ago in a Shearton Hotel parking lot we shared a space with Willie's tour bus. Last night we caught his show and then honked down his tour bus (the same one, might I add) as we all drove towards the highway, neck in neck. The show was at the Genessee theatre and I made a quick peek into the bathrooms there. Black and white subway tiles and pedestal sinks. Lots of stalls and lots of TP. Great. Shiny mirrors and lots of fancy lighting. However, I'd felt like I'd been in one of these bathrooms before at any movie theatre- so it was just good, average, nice. I give it a C.

Deetjen's Big Sur Inn: A-

Ahhh... Deetjen's Big Sur Inn. First off, there is nothing other than perfect about this place. No joke. From Redwood Forest canyons, to streams trickling. From delicious food to beautiful gardens. From the coastal cliffs to the Pacific Ocean across the street. From paper thin walls hiding money to a mystery joint hiding in some rafters. You really cannot rate this place because every one of its features is nothing out of the A's. It'd give it an A+, if it didn't require double flushes- thus a little minus. Usually this type of description would send a Crohner's running scared, but not at Deetjen's. Our little Antique Apartment had a kickin' it bathroom. Redwood walls that heated and smelled of cedar when you took a shower in the morning or the sun shone through the trees outside. The linoleum was oddly spotless and perfect for the place, plus its funny little grey carpet made it perfect. All of these features, oddly would rank any bathroom in the low D's, but here- it rates it in the high A's because all of it is spotless and perfect for the setting. The sink has a great old rust stain over the drain that makes you think of farmers- don't ask me why, it just did. The bathroom was pure perfection in a redwood, rustic garden setting. The double flushing was workable. The sink kicked it nicely. The linoleum could have been layed down yesterday. Really, this place rocks. You gotta check it out! I rate it an A-.

San Francisco American Airlines Terminal: A+

All I gotta say is PERFECT. San Fran's airport is great. You can find some good gluten free, non junk food selections and take care of business in a shiny new, eco friendly bathroom stall. It's not the first time, I've experienced this- the low flow or higher flow flush system, but couple that with private stalls, soft toliet paper, and great lighting, you can sit in there for as long as you wish and hear a boatload of conversations in many a language across the world. Awesome. Bathroom flushers- awesome. Stall- spotless. Privacy- perfect. Cleanliness- great. I rate it an A+.

United Terminal O'Hare Airport: B

O'Hare airport- the site of great excitement, anticipation, and sometime sorrow has never ceased to interest me. It's bathrooms rank pretty high up there, I gotta say. In my opinion, one of the best in Chicago- you know, O'Hare IS Chicago by zip code. Other terminals, with the exception of International, cannot compare. The domestic wing for United always has nice lighting, you look pretty snazzy in the diffused sunlight mirrors. The stalls are huge to accomdate your giant carry on. Its best, weirdest feature is the fact that you can wave your hand and this saran wrap like cover rolls across the diameter of the seat, making you feel confident that all's good and clean. As a kid, I just thought the roll just found its way back into the little white motor part, got rewound, and faked us all out! Now as an adult, I like to think differently. It's always clean. The soap smells good. And the formica like sinks- so mode in the 90's, now crack me up in the 2012's. I rate it a B.